Guy Kawasaki | Advisor at Motorola Mobility
Last week I wrote about How to Achieve Likeability and I want to expand on that theme a bit. There's an additional piece to becoming truly likeable that I'd like to share: default to a "yes" attitude. This means that your default response to requests is “yes.” This doesn’t mean lying, and it’s not a risky practice because most requests at the beginning of a relationship are simple and easy.
"Always say "yes" to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is what could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say "yes" to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you."
– Eckhart Tolle
A "yes" buys time, enables you to see more options, and builds rapport. I learned this from Darct Rezac, author of The Frog and the Prince: Secrets of Positive Networking. He defines good networking as always thinking about how you can help the people when you meet them.
By contrast, a “no” response stops everything. There’s no place to go, nothing to build on, and no further options. You never know what may come of a relationship, and you will never know if you don’t let it begin. At least, think “not yet” instead of “no.”
To make a default “yes” work, you must assume that people are reasonable, honest, and grateful. While everyone isn‘t always reasonable, honest, and grateful, the majority are, and you can live your life in one of two ways: thinking that people are bad until proven good or good until proven bad.
Take my word for it: More people will like you if you believe that people are good until proven bad.
Guy Kawasaki is the author of twelve books including APE: Author, Publisher, Entrepreneur — How to Publish a Book, What the Plus!, and Enchantment: The Art of Changing Hearts, Minds, and Action. He’s the former chief evangelist of Apple and current advisor to Motorola. Guy shares enchanting stuff on the topics of marketing, enchantment, social media, writing, self-publishing, innovation and venture capital.
This is an excerpt from Enchantment: The Art of Changing Hearts, Minds and Actions.
By contrast, a “no” response stops everything. There’s no place to go, nothing to build on, and no further options. You never know what may come of a relationship, and you will never know if you don’t let it begin. At least, think “not yet” instead of “no.”
To make a default “yes” work, you must assume that people are reasonable, honest, and grateful. While everyone isn‘t always reasonable, honest, and grateful, the majority are, and you can live your life in one of two ways: thinking that people are bad until proven good or good until proven bad.
Take my word for it: More people will like you if you believe that people are good until proven bad.
Guy Kawasaki is the author of twelve books including APE: Author, Publisher, Entrepreneur — How to Publish a Book, What the Plus!, and Enchantment: The Art of Changing Hearts, Minds, and Action. He’s the former chief evangelist of Apple and current advisor to Motorola. Guy shares enchanting stuff on the topics of marketing, enchantment, social media, writing, self-publishing, innovation and venture capital.
This is an excerpt from Enchantment: The Art of Changing Hearts, Minds and Actions.